Foster Guilt

Fostering an animal saves lives, no doubt. I often hear people say, "I could never foster, I would just keep them all!" or, "how can you let him go? he loves you!!" My response is, yes, it IS hard to let them go, but it's better than seeing them die, as they would have had a foster home not been available in their time of need.

I have to admit, the latter one has been getting to me lately. The "how can YOU let him go?!" as though I am re-homing a beloved pet. "It's not fair to him, you need to adopt him", another stab to the heart. Here's the thing, fostering is hard enough. Foster parents are in short supply compared to the need. It doesn't help when there are outsiders, well meaning, don't get me wrong, pushing you to adopt your foster and then giving a guilt trip when you explain why you're not adopting. (It's fostering for a reason, right?? If everyone adopted their foster dogs, we would have no fosters!)

It's especially painful when you would love to adopt your foster, when you have fallen madly, deeply in love with him but don't feel you are the right match.

I just ask others to have sensitivity to foster parents. You might see all the cute posts and pictures, but there is much more to consider when making the decision and commitment to add to the family. Trust us. We love our fosters with all of our hearts and want the best for them.

We had a meet and greet for Truman over the weekend, but it wasn't a match. I know his forever family is waiting for him. He's the most precious, loving guy ever. I have never been a small dog person, and especially not a chihuahua person, ha ha, but Truman taught me a lesson. Just as I don't want others to judge my pittie girl, I have been guilty of believing the stereo types that are known to the chihuahua breed. In my defense, I have experienced the "stereo type" many times having done rescue for 15 years, however, Truman breaks all stereotypes.

He's my little man who I love with my whole heart.
Will it be sad to see him go? It will rip my heart out. But, I am also very eager for him to move on to his "happily ever after".

Introducing foster pup Truman

Wow, it's been awhile. I've been in a writing slump and have had zero time for updates.

Soooo...nearly 3 weeks ago, little D and I went to walk our RESCUE dogs and provide some play time. We had actually picked up another pup to bring home for a play date. When we were bringing him back to boarding, a kennel worker said, "have you met Truman yet?" We hadn't. He was newly rescued. He had not been out yet for a walk, so we said we would take him out.

Little D melted when she saw him. "My dream dog!" she exclaimed. She has been wanting a chihuahua for over three years..since she fell in love with two of them we rescued on her first "pound run" with me. They were exceptional dogs and I loved them too, but at the time, we were not in a position to add to our family.

We really enjoyed our time with the little turkey, so we decided to take him home and introduce him to Hazel, "just to see". I was warned from another volunteer that he had growled and snipped at a bigger dog the day he was rescued, but that is such a stressful time for a pup so we thought we would try.

I warned D that we may be in and out in just a few minutes. Because Truman is so small, I held him as we walked into our house. Typically I handle introductions quite differently, but something told me this was the way to to go given his size. I knew Hazel would be ok and take cues from me, but after having another (very bossy) chihuahua over recently, was fully expecting Truman to growl and or/bark his little head off. Instead, I was greeted with interest from Hazel, but not too pushy as she typically is, and a very happy wagging tail from Truman who was trying to get out of my arms to meet Hazel. I put Hazel on a leash and let him down to explore. I was getting soft, playful body language from both. I kept the leash on Hazel, and the below video was taken within 5 minutes of them meeting.

Hands down the easiest introduction I have ever done! I have never had a symbiotic relationship with Hazel and another dog so quickly. She is typically a little rude in her approach, and plays rough with most dogs. Needless to day, she surprised me and has continued to do so since we've had him.

Seriously..Just under 7 pounds though I know he has gained some needed weight now. I have no experience with tiny little dogs.

My, what big teeth you have!

He was going to work with me full time the first 2 weeks we had him. In our third week, we are alternating between staying at home with Foster daddy, or going to work with me for a half day, and then back home with foster dad and Hazel.

Truman is looking for an amaaaazing home to call his very own...if you know anyone, send them our way!

Happy (belated) Birthday to me!

Every year we have a HUGE event for our rescue that lands either on, or very close to my birthday. This year it was on my actual birthday which was Sunday. I had to leave my house by 4:45 to get all gussied up for a TV appearance featuring our foster dog, (more on that later), so my traditional sunrise hike went out the window. Boo.

Hazel and I made up for it. I took Monday off and took her with me to drop off the little human at school. Hazel was so funny..when little D got out of the car and we started pulling away, she was SO confused! She whined a little and kept searching for her little sissy- sweet girl!

With reassurances that all was ok, we headed to some trails not far from school. My foot is still injured, so yes, I did cheat. I was going to stay on level ground as I had before, but there was a trail going up a mountain that needed exploring.....

So, I need to figure out a way to work from home again, because hiking first thing in the morning during the week is where it's at! The parking lot was completely empty, which meant we had the entire freaking mountain to ourselves!!! Off leash time, whooo hoooo!!!

As we climbed the mountain, rays of sunshine shone down from the heavens above as though reaching for my sweet girl.

It was SO windy when we reached the top. Hazel's little ears were flying everywhere. The wind was so loud we didn't stay up there long because it was hurting my ears, so I couldn't imagine how Hazel must have been feeling.

We were racing against the storm brewing..

On the way down I put Hazel back on leash when we didn't have a clear view to see if anyone was coming. We ran into a woman with her dog (who was off leash and very friendly). I asked if anyone was behind her on the trail and she said no, so we let both dogs off to froclick. Hazel and this Golden raced down the trail together and then came running back to us with big ol' silly grins on their faces. I loved it!

With my last girl, on off leash dog was my worst nightmare. She would attack any dog who came into her space, so it was very stressful for me to come across someone who didn't obey leash laws, or at the very least, leash their dog when they saw someone coming. It is such a relief to not have that stress over me now. I loved my girl dearly and would not have traded her for the world, but the dog aggression is something I do not miss managing.

spotting some birds

Our hike was so lovely! Being in the mountains is definitely our happy place, and I love sharing it with Hazel. She is so in her element on the trails. I love sharing our passion for the outdoors...it's such a bonding moment at the risk of sounding really corny. There are no words!

It was a perfect way to celebrate.

My 'doption story, as told by meez, Hazel

So, my new “mom” has been saying lots of stuff about me lately, so I thought it was time that I give you my pit of view of how I came to be ‘dopted.. A little over a year ago I found myself inside a scary place that I have heard peoples refer to as “the pound”. I didn’t know what was happening or what I did to get there. All I knew was that I was all alone inside a cage on a hard, cold concrete floor, with no human contact. People would walk by my cage and look inside, but just as quickly as they approached, they left. One time, a little boy who smelled like cookies came up to my cage. Just as I was about to give him a lick, his mom pulled him away and said in a mean voice, “that is a pit bull-stay away!!!”. I looked around to see what they were so afraid of, cuz geez, maybe I should be scared, but nothing was behind me. I heard that word “pit bull” many times after that and still don’t know what it means. I only saw dogs around me.

After a few weeks of being inside what I came to know as doggy jail, I started to feel sick. I knew what that meant for me. I saw the dog next door to me get taken into what others know as “the room”..the place where doggies go in, but they don’t come out, and I’m not talking about being ‘dopted. One day, a lady with a kind face stopped by my cage. She talked to me and called me “pretty girl”. Pretty?? Me??? She took a picture of me and touched my face the best she could in between the bars. I gave her some kisses but then like all the others, she walked away. I walked to the back of my cage and tried to get comfortable, but it was no use. The concrete was so hard and cold. Then I heard a voice. A kind voice. “hey pretty girl, do you want to get out of here?” I wagged my tail with all my might hoping she would know that I meant “YES!!!!!”. She leashed me up and I pulled her down the hall before she could change her mind. Before I knew it, I saw the sky, I smelled fresh air, and felt the earth beneath my paws. FREEDOM!! After a car ride, I was taken to a girl who I was told was responsible for me being what they call, “rescued”. She saw a picture of me on something called the “e-list”, and asked the lady who took the picture of me to get me outta that place. I came to love this lady and her dogs that lived with her. For the first time, I had a nice warm bed, yummy food, and I could even sleep on the couch!I loved her very much but she explained that this was not my “furever” home. I was her “foster dog”. Nice volunteers would take me hiking and to ‘doption events to meet families. I saw some of my doggy friends find new homes and they were so happy. I was happy for them and I knew my day would come. Some day. Until then, I had a nice place to stay.

Then, the day came…my foster mom told me that I was going to a new home. I would stay with them to make sure it was a “good match”, and then I would be adopted! I was very happy! I had been waiting for many months for a new home, and my time had come! I moved into my new home and everything was great. I liked my new doggy brother and I had a new bed. My new people said they would be my mom and dad. A mom and dad?? Wow, was I lucky!! After I had been in my new home for awhile, I noticed my toys being packed up and my special food was being carried out of the house. “Why would they take my stuff?” I wondered. Well, I found out why. My stuff wasn’t staying because I was not staying. My “new home” was not my furever home after all. I don’t know what I did to make them change my mind. It didn’t matter though, once again, I was in a car heading to someplace new.

The next several weeks are a blur..filled with vet appointments, spending time with new volunteers, and trying to figure out where I belonged in this big world. One day, my foster mommy took me on a walk all by myself. This wasn’t normal,..my foster siblings were left at home. I could tell something was different but I didn’t know what. We walked in the grasses and there I saw a little girl with long hairs, and her mama. They were both smiling at me and spoke softly. I wagged my tail very hard and gave the little girl kisses. This time, the mama didn’t pull her child away from me…she seemed happy that I was giving kisses, so I gave more, and then more, and even more!! The mama’s eyes started leaking and she came over to pet me as well. I got lots of lovins for awhile while she talked to my foster mama. Then, just like that, the leaky eyed woman and her girl started walking away from me..just like everyone else. They kept looking back at me and the little girl looked sad. I tried to pull to get inside their car but it was no use. They drove away. Oh well, off I went back inside to my foster home. Maybe I was just meant to be a foster dog forever.

One week later, that leaky eyed lady came back to my house. This time, she came inside and something weird happened. She started taking MY stuff out of my house! “Hey, what are you doing with my crate?!” I wanted to shout..but then, something happened. She came back. Not only did she come back, she leashed me up and took me to her car. This time, I got to jump inside!! I didn’t know where we were going, and I didn’t care..meez loves car rides! Soon we were at a new house. She took me inside, and there in front of me was the little girl who loved my kisses! I gave her lots of kisses again and she made a high pitched squeaky noise. Someone needs to tell her that it hurts doggy ears! They took me outside and there was a big grassy area that I immediately started running free in. I pounced on balls as they laughed and laughed. They kept saying how “precious” I was, and how “perfect” I was. All I could do was smile. This felt good. I wondered if this was what they called “a family”. I had a mom, a dad, and a human sister. I had never had one of those before. I spent lots of time with this family, and we had ups and downs. I never spent much time with those little humans, so excuse me, but I didn’t know it wasn’t cool to pounce on them, or take their arms in my mouth. That’s how I played with my doggy friends, geez, what’s the big deal??! Well, I could tell it was kind of a big deal. One day, I made the little one cry really hard, and for the first time, I saw her being afraid of me. This confused me. I could tell the mama and dad were concerned and not happy with me. They wondered how they could keep the little human safe and me happy at the same time. I had seen that look before..I knew they would probably start taking my stuff out of the house again. I was used to it. Dang. I was liking the feeling of having a family. The mama came over to me and looked into my eyes. She was saying words that I didn’t understand until she said one I DID understand. They were what’s called “training words”. At first I got scared but then she gave me something delicious and then I heard the word again. This made me happy,and me being happy made the mama happy. She used a clicky thingy and every time I heard that click, I got something deeelicous to eat. I couldn’t please her fast enough! This is all she wanted me to do?? Why didn’t she say so?! Then my mama came to me again…she looked deep into my eyes and in front of her girl and the daddy, she said, “we are not giving up on you. We will make this work. We all have to work hard, but we will do whatever it takes. Hazel, you are home and we are your family. And family is forever.” Something changed almost overnight on my insides. I felt different. I felt safe. For the first time in forever, I knew my stuff was here to stay.

The thing is, my mama told me that I probably had more “luggage” that is yet to be unpacked. I don’t know what she’s talking about, because I have everything I need here. Whatever it is, she said she would help me unpack it, no matter how much I brought with me. Well, that’s enough talkins for me today, but I’ll be back! For now, there is a big comfy couch with lots of pillows calling my name. Peace out doggy dog friends! Love, Hazel